GO TO THE BATHROOM ALREADY!
by Dee-Vine
Summary: Go To the BATHROOM! For the summary. Or just read the story. Whichever you perfer.
1. Harry, its time you go to the bathroom I...

bathrooms and lights .htm _Come to the bathroom_   
_And there you'll see_   
_The pretty bright side of me_   
_Walk into the room_   
_Flick my switch and on Ill be_   
_So go to the bathroom my baby...._   
_*BathroomTalk*_   
_by: ME! I just made that up_. 

Harry paced about his dorm room. He really needed to find a way to tell Ginny how he felt about her. But the right words wouldn't come.   
Just then Ron walked into the room. Ron, being Harry's best friend, already knew that he liked her sister. When Harry first told him, he was kind of shocked. He was okay with Harry's feelings for her, but he couldn't help wonder. "WHY?" Any ways....   
"Wassup Harry?" He said.   
"The sky," harry mumbled. His voice was mumbly since he had his hands pushed against his cheeks.   
Ron laughed "No shit," Then he saw the look on his face. "What is it?"   
Harry just gave him a look.   
"Oh, Ginny again, huh?" Ron shook his head knowingly, then sat down on his bed next to him. "Harry, can i give you some manly advice?" Harry looked up at him. Huh?   
"Manly advice?" Harry repeated, bewildered. "Like, what for?"   
"For women, especially Ginny, of course!" Said Ron.   
"What, did Hermione give you all the secrets or something?" Harry teased. Ron reddened.   
"No, I just know this from...from...years of experience!"   
Harry snorted. "Okay Ron, what is it you want to tell me?"   
"You see Harry,' Ron said. "Women are like my bathroom."   
"Say WHAT?" Harry exclaimed. What the hell was Ron talking about??   
"Listen. You know my bathroom, the one next to Fred and George's room? Well it has three light bulbs." Harry raised an eyebrow. "Now being the way my shaggy house is, not all of them work very well." Harry nodded, trying to catch on. "See, the bathroom is like the world, and the three light bulbs are like the three types of women we have on earth." women, light bulbs, bathroom earth, got it. " One: The first one that goes on is the kind of dull one. Kind of of bright but a little worn. Just like your first, second or third girlfriend. They're pretty good, but not as good as you could have, later, if your lucky." Harry nodded again. Number one light bulb, okay but not as great...., got it. "Then the second one to go on: is the really worn one, the one that doesn't even really go on at all. Like your fourth, fifth, or six girlfriend. They could be pretty but their personalities suck. Or visa versa." Second light bulb, sucky. "Then the last one to go on is the brightest. It shines in every way possible, has its glow on every part of the bathroom. And the men are actually the "Weasley Men" who go into the bathroom in the middle of the night, looking forth switch. Sometimes we get the dull one. Sometimes we get the super dull one. But its on that special night, the night after you have a really really good dinner or something, that you get lucky, and you get the bright one. The bright one that totally waked you up and makes you feel good about your self. Did that make any sense Harry?" Okay, that's it, Ron is COMPLETELY off his rocker now. Fell off, and hit his head the nutter.   
"Um Ron, I'm now under the impression that you're more dazed and confused than I am!"   
Ron blushed. "Sorry, that's how Dad explained it..."   
"Wait, Mr. Weasley told you this?"   
"What, you think I made that shit up?" Ron said. They laughed. "Any ways," Ron said, "I'm not sure if that answered any of your queries, but maybe it brought you a little help." Harry shrugged. Maybe it did.   
"Well, i got to' meet Herm in 5," he said looking at his watch. "But remember Harry, don't be afraid to get up and go to bathroom." Ron winked. "You never know when you're gooing to get the spotlight." Then Ron left the room, leaving Harry to ponder on his own.   
Hedwig flew through his window, landed on his shoulders and nipped him in the ear. Harry smiled at Hedwig, then took in a breath.   
"You know Hedwig, I think its about time I got to the bathroom." Hedwig cocked her head to the side as if expressing confusion. "Er, I mean, its about time I tell Ginny the way I feel about her." Hedwig nodded her snowy head. And Harry grinned to see the approval of his decision. He grabbed a piece of parchment out of his bag and a quill, and began to write.   
Dear Ginny,   
PLease meet me at the south edge of the lake tonight at 7:30 to see the sunset. I also have something Id like to tell you.   
Love, Harry Potter.   
Harry looked at what he wrote. Satisfied, he tied the note to her foot, he would have put it in her mouth but it was way too important, It could drop accidentally into the wrong hands. He didn't tell Hedwig this cause she would probably resent him for a week.   
'Bring that straight to Ginny, okay? She's in the library I think now. Red hair, remember? Can't miss 'er.' Hedwig gave Harry one last nip at the face and took off thinking:   
"Skwak squawk chirp chirp eke chirpek squawk erch chirp eek!" Translation: "Thank god he finally found his balls, three months of him droning about her was enough to make me sick!"   
Unfortunately, Hedwig flew directly above Filch, who was in a bad mood any ways. He thought it was Peeves flying above him so he jumped high as if took grab him in some way. Instead, he tore the piece on parchment on Hedwig'ss leg that read   
"Love Harry".   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
Ginny Weasley was catching up on her Charms in the library with Hermione Granger when a snowy white owl swooped down on her. She'd never seen this owl before, but she (Ginny could tell because she looked) was very pretty. Hermione was too deep in studying to take notice.   
"Well hey there little girl." She cooed. "What have you got there?" She took the note from Hedwig's leg. Hedwig gave her an affectionate nip on the neck . Ginny giggled and opened the parchment. She gasped as she finished reading it. Somebody wanted to see the sunset with her? Who?! There was no name... Then she saw the little tear on the end of the paper. She sighed heavily. Just her luck. Well, she might as well go. It might be a totally and it might be Prince Charming, you never know. So Ginny picked up a small piece of parchment from her book bag and scribbled "Yes, I'll come." And then gave it o Hedwig, who then flew off.   
Ginny read the letter again, only this time aloud. Hermione's head snapped up.   
"Did somebody send that to you?" She asked curiously.   
"Yeah this snowy owl dropped it off-"   
"Let me see it." Hermione insisted. Ginny handed her the piece of paper. Hermione recognized the writing as Harry's right away, and was about to tell Ginny it was Harry when she noticed there was no name. So she figured that she shouldn't spoil it for him or her. So she just handed it back.   
"Charming guy," She said, hopefully making an impression.   
"I'm sure," Ginny muttered. "What if this is it, Herm?" Ginny asked excitedly.   
"Is what?" she asked.   
"The real thing!" Ginny exclaimed, trying too keep her voice own due to the fact that they were in the library.   
"The real thing? Oh Ginny...." Ginny sighed when she heard this. "No Ginny its not like that." But Ginny still had her head down. "Listen, let me tell you my theory on this."   
Ginny's head picked up. "You see Gin, Guys are like these light bulbs I have in my bathroom...."

A/n Cliffhanger! Sorry, but i wasn't sure where to stop. What do you think? I know I should be working on my other stories but when i was in the *bathroom* this popped into my head when I flicked the wrong switch. I met a bad guy that day *LOL* Any ways, please review! If i get ten I'll write the second chapter. I mean I'm post it, its already written.   
Disclaimer: Okay, what do you think? Yup, that's right, nothings mine but the *Bathroom* song. More of that in the second chapter.   



	2. Ginny, take a shower!

  
Flick my switch baby, You turn me on With the flick of a finger darkness is gone watch me now Watch me hard and long And if you look long enough your eye sight is gone *Bathrooom Talk* By:   
Jessica Low! (a/n Okay, I made a mistake, Hermione wasnÕt talking about the light bulbs in her bathroom, she was talking about her SHOWER, sorry, my mistake! please read on)   
  
"Your bathroom Hermione? Did i hear you right?" Ginny asked. How can you relate boys to a bathroom ? "Yes Gin, my bathroom." Hermione said seriously. "Or rather my shower."   
"Okay, Herm...you feeling alright?" Ginny asked, concerned.   
She put her hand up to Hermiones forehead. Hermione sighed. "Just listen Gin, I know what I'm talking about. You know how in the morning, you'r eall groggy and you're half awake, you decide to go take a shower. So we, the women, represent ourselves as groggy women in morning." Ginny nodded slowly. "There are two knobs in my bathroom. One for cold, and one for hot. The knobs in the shower don't have H or C on them so you kind of have to guess which one is hot." Ginny nodded again. "Just like when you meet guys, you kind of have to guess which ones hot and which ones are cold. The hot spreads a hot warm feel over you whole body, just like hot water. But the cold ones give you chill, and not the good kind either. They fill you with icy cold feelings and you know that not good. Now sometimes they can be refreshing. Like after you accidently turn the water too hot. But they never last for long because they become too cold." She   
nods again.   
"But, if you work the cold knob, and the hot knob, together you get perfect water, and thats what make you feel good side and out. Like a good boyfriend. Makes you feel good, inside in out. Am i making any sense Ginny?" Hermione asked as she finished. Ginny thought it over. So Hermione was saying, I have to put the cold and hot together to get my dream guy. Okay.....   
"Hermione, I'm not sure if I understand, but thanx for telling me anyways. "Sure no problem," Hermione said, and was going to start reading her book again when- "Um, Hermione, wasn't Ron, a bit, cold when you turned him on????" She asked. Ron hadn't always been so nice to her.... Hermiones cheeks reddened.   
"Uh, well, thats different."   
"Ah," Said Ginny. Then Ron walked in and gave Hermione a   
quick kiss on the cheek. "Come on my darling, we have a dinner date today, remember 6:00!"   
"Oh right, sorry hon." she said. "OH and Ginny, if you want you can come by my dorm around 6:45   
and I'll do your hair for you." Hermione suggested with a smile. "Sure, thanx Herm." Ginny said brightly. "Alright then. Oh and Ginny, don't be afraid to take a shower. Warm might come faster than you think." Hermione winked and left with Ron.   
~*~*~ "So did you give her the bathroom talk?" Ron asked. "Yup, and i think she took it pretty well, considering that it came from the mouth of my muggle Mum."   
Ron laughed. "Yeah well, I gave Harry the 'Bathroom Talk' too. At first he gave me the impression that he didn't get it. But then I saw Hedwig fly over my head with a note and I knew he took my words in."   
Hermione giggled. "Oh yes, about "your words". Ron wasn't I your FIRST girlfriend?" Hermione demanded. Rons cheeks reddened as he kissed her on the forehead.   
"Well," He said, "No! Well its different." "Ah," She said. ~*~*~   
"So guys, are water..." She repeated. It sounded kind of crazy, but maybe Hermione had some sense in what she had said. She went back   
to reading her book. But thoughts of Harry flooded her mind. She was so sure he was warm water. He was refreshingly cold, a sweetly hot. He was perfect. If only it was Harry.... It might be Harry, he   
did have that kind of writing. But then again, there were hundreds of kids at Hogwarts.... ~*~*~   
"So Hedwig, did you give it to her?" Harry asked as his owl flew in. Hedwig nodded, then tapped the   
closed window. Harry opened it and watched her fly. Then glanced down at his watch and saw that it was 6:30. Time to go get ready! While Hedwig was gone got an idea to make the night a bit more   
special. Now where did he put those fireworks....   
~*~*~*~ *   
Ginny* OKay, now its 6:45. better go meet Hermione.   
*~*   
"Hey Hermione," Ron murmed against Hermiones head. They kind of skipped dinner and decided to cuddle in the prefects room. Hermione was a prefect.   
"What?" She murmed back. She cuddled closer to him.   
"You're suppose to met Ginny in 5 minutes..." he said.   
Hermione Jumped. "Why didn't you warn me!" She exclaimed and ran out of the room. Ron didn't even have time to explain. So he just sat back and waited. Sure enough Hermione came running   
back in a gave him a kiss. "Sorry Hon." She whispered and then ran out again. Ron grinned and leaned back on the chair they were sitting in. Pleased with himself. THEN the chair tipped over.   
*~~*~*~***~~~~****~**~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~***~~~~****~**~*~*~*~*~~* Ginny sat in Hermiones dorm and waited for her to come and braid her hair. It was 7:00 when Hermione   
came rushing in, gasping for air. "Oh god Ginny," She breathed. Ginny got up and patted her on the back Herm, you okay? Its alright you're late but..." "Well lets see," Hermione got her breath   
back.I was running here from the prefects room when I ran into this mobile suit of armor. Then he fell on me and it scared the crap out of me. But it was actually Fred and George. Jerks. And then the   
commomn room was completely filled because somebody posted the schedule for the tri-school dance and-" "Wait, theres a tri-school dance?" Ginny asked eagerly. "Yup, but more about that later,   
we need to get you out, and now." Hermione gave Ginny a once over. No time to do it the NORMAL way so. Hermione took out her wand. "Hairstyloso!" She yelled. Then Ginny hair spun up into a   
bun with two smooth curls falling down by her face. "There," Hermione admired. Then she pushed Ginn out the door. "Hurry up! You really go to go!" Ginny stumbled out, she didn't even get to   
see what her hair looked like. Then she ran to her dorm and grabbed her friends broom, then took off through the window. ~~~***~~**~~~***~~~ So Harry had everything set. The fireworks, the   
dinner. Everything perfect for a romantic night by the lake. He just hoped everything got on alright. Ginny should be here in about ten minutes. ~*~*~* Seamus slowly kissed Parvati's toes. She   
giggled uncontolably. He put her shoe aside. Then he worked his way up to kissing her mouth. She giggled even more. If only Lavender could see....Parvati thought. ~*~*~*~*~ It turns out, Lavender   
could see. She was up in the tree above her. She meant to say hello, but then they got busy so she figured it was better that she didn't. She wrinkeled her nose at the mushy parts. She was suppose to   
meet this mystery guy at 7:30, but she was a little early. ~*~*~*~ And it was because of these to MINOR (*coughyeah right*cough*) details that Harrys night with Ginny was a total, and complete   
diaster. A/N Im quite evil arent I? MWUHAHAHAHAHA! I want 50 more reviews for this one! J/k LOL. I actually got more reviews than I bargened for so im HARRY! Oh, um, oops. I mean   
HAPPY! You want me to post the other chapter???? Heehee, tell me then. wait, i know youÕre gonna be pissed off I dont get the next chapter up soon, so I might as well upload it as soon as I upload   
this chapter. Sighs. BTW what did you think about the shower? I thought it sucked, but I needed something! Please review. cuse thats what the lil box is below for. disclaimer: Yes! nope. STILL don't   
own anything STOP ASKING GOSH DARNIT! (thanx for emailing me Jessica)   



	3. will you go "OUT WITH ME"???

"Oh Ron, I have the BEST IDEA!" Hermione told Ron, as they sat bordily in common.   
"And what would that be?" He asked.   
"Lets go spy on Ginny and Harry!!!" Hermione exclaimed excitedly, and jumped off of the couch.   
"Oh yes, that would be GREAT fun, except for I'd like not to witnice my best friend and my little sister making out!" Ron said mock excitment.   
"Oh come on!" Hermione whined, and grabbed his arm, and pulled him off the couch.   
"The things i do for you." He sighed, and followed her out of the common room.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*   
Mean while, mystery man was running across teh feild to meet lavender. He was a bit late, but that was okay. And he would have kept on going to the tree like he was supoose to do, but he saw something rumbling in the bushes a few yards away.   
"Well it wouldn't hurt to check it out..." Said Dean to himself, and he ran over to see what was going on.   
~*~*~*~*~*~   
Lavender was getting quite impatient, sitting up in that uncomfortable tree. She decided it was time to leave. Screw the mystery person, he could very well turn out to be Malfoy. He had been giving her these looks lately. Yuck, who would want to go out with that little ferret?   
She looked down. Yes they were still making out. For godsakes, how long can you go with out coming up for air??   
Lanvendar thought she would just jump out of teh treee the other way and be off with it, but...   
***~***   
"Hey Harry what are you doing with all these fireworks?" Dean asked Harry, who was behind teh bushes, setting them up.   
"Oh Dean, dude, could you scram? I'm kinda meetin someone...."   
"Oh cool, whats this button do?"   
~*~*~*~*~   
"So where the hell is he?" Ginny said to herself outloud, not really knowing where she should be going. She didn't even know who this guy was. Then all the sudden A huge firework went, and it was so loud it knocked Ginny backward.   
It said in large Letters OUT WITH ME!   
"What in the hell?!" Ginny said to herself.   
~*~*~*~   
This large firework went off and it knocked Lavender right out of the tree, ontop of Seamus and Parvati.   
~*~*~*~   
DEAN! Yelled harry. "YOU DUBASS!"   
"Sorry Harry, it was fun though" Harry gave him a murderous glare.   
"I look I have to go find, my date, see you later!"   
Dean ran out of the bushes and the first thing he saw was Ginny.   
"Your my secret admirer?" Ginny asked him, bewildered. "Goddamit."(sorry jess)   
*!*!*!*!*!*   
Lavender! Parvati screeched. "Stop trying to steal my boyfriend!"   
"What? Steal? NO!"   
"Then what r u doing? SPYING ON ME!"   
"Oh shut up you prat." Lavender spat. "I told you i was coming here to meet my "mystery man" remember???" Parvati was thoughtful for a minute.   
"OH YEAH!"   
"Excuse me," says Seamus, a little ticked. "If you don't mind I'd kind of like to finish my make out session!"   
"Fine Fine," said Lavender, and she left to the two love birds only to walk into a mess of bushes.   
And there she saw Harry, fuming mad.   
"Oh jeez, Harry, your my mystery man'!!" Lavender squealed.   
"What the..." Harry tried, but Lavender had his arms around so tightly around him, and started to kiss him, forcibly.   
*@*@*@*@*@*@*@   
Unlucky, Lavender decided to go mad with hormones right when Ginny turned to see them. If it was daytime Ginny would have seen that harrywas trying to get her off him. But Since it was night time, it looked like Harry and Lavender were signing "LETS GET IT ON, AAHHHHH BABY".   
Ginny couldn't' stand it anymore, the night had gone disasterous. Dean was her 'sercret admirerer', Harry and Lavender were together, and she had messed up her new hairdo by getting knocked on her ass.   
"THATS IS IT!" Ginny yelled. "Sorry Dean But SCREW BATHROOM, SCREW FIREWORKS!" Then Ginny walked over to Harry, who had finally managed to get Lavender OFF him. "AND SCREW YOU MR.HARRY JAMES POTTER!" And with that Ginny stalked off as fast as she could toward the castle.   
"LAVENDER!" Harry roared, "YOU SCREWED EVERYTHING UP!"   
"What the hell? Hey bub, you invited me here," she told him, poking him in the chest.   
"Dude!" Dean said, hysterical. Then he walked over to Lavender and put him arm around her. "You tryin to steal my women?" He asked him, all ghetto.   
"NO, she came on to me!!"   
"Oh, so ur my 'mystery man'." Lavender said coyly to him.   
"You know!" Dean said, and they started to make out. Disgusted by the scene, Harry left in search for Ginny as he thought how very un perfect this was......   
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^   
"Ron, that wasn't good!" Hermione said to Ron, as she had just witniced everything that had just happened. But Ron wasn't listening, he was laughing is head off.   
"Oh i suppose you think thats funny!" Hermione glowered.   
"No," said ron, "that was HILARIOUS!"   
a/n sorry it took so long!! REVIEW! I want... hmm.... lets see.. how about 45 reviews before the next chapter?   



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